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Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in
Alex's InsaneJournal:
| Tuesday, April 12th, 2011 | |
| 10:36 pm | Very successful planning is successful! International flights are booked and paid for! Domestic flights within The USA, booked and will be totally paid off the day after tomorrow. Hotels in all the places we are staying are pretty much all chosen, just need to be booked and paid for over the next few months. My four weeks paid vacation has been approved, as has the boy's. So we land at LAX on the 6th of October and then work our way across the country. So exciting, really gives me something to look forward to during those long days at work. Sometimes I think planning for the holiday is almost as good as actually going on it. Speaking of the awful job and awful town, it's all got quite a bit worse really. But it means I'm even more driven to finding something somewhere else. The boy is going to go back to uni next year, one year degree that will finish in him being a high school teacher, so he will pretty much be able to get a job anywhere. So I think we will be moving closer to home early next year, even if change freaks me out way too much. But I'm so miserable and lonely at the moment, I need to make some kind of change. I love the boy, but just the two of us, all the time? I could go crazy. I just feel like I don't have anyone to talk to anymore, WOE WOE OH WOE. Also? Benedict Cumberbatch? How are you so beautiful? It's wrong that a man is so damn pretty. You make me want to rewatch Sherlock AGAIN which would be too many times recently to be healthy. Need good books now, lots of them please. |
| Friday, March 11th, 2011 | |
| 10:52 pm | Hell-o long weekend, I'm so glad to see you, stay as long as you'd like. Counting down to my trip is the best thing in my life ever. Leaving on the second of October, gone for four glorious paid weeks of beautiful overseas adventures. Highlights include my beautiful best friend who has moved to LA and I miss like my heart is gone, also her boyfriend who is quite excellent. Two ridiculously luxurious nights in Vegas and two shows, time to pretend to by royalty. Almost a whole week with Dheth! Hanging out with my partner's best friend. Tyla! Then New York, which is just, wowie, I dream of New York. THEN the wedding. Oh dear, I'm so not very good at all this girly wedding thing! Some women dream about it their whole lives, I'm not one of those women. I'm going to try to leave as much of it up to my mother as possible and just be stubborn about the really important things I actually care about. Aaaannnnndddd, I've had too much Strawberry Cider and have been walking up and down memory lane reading old threads and journals and getting all teary over things. Because that's what I do. Oh, Grimm, you are where love lives. Annnnddd <3. |
| Tuesday, February 15th, 2011 | |
| 10:39 pm | Please, please, please don't let me be getting glandular fever. Pleeeaaassseee. Also? I really need a hobby. Suggestions welcome. |
| Thursday, January 27th, 2011 | |
| 3:04 pm | After a few ridiculously awful weeks, it took making myself physical ill last night to realize things aren't as bad as I make them out to be. This job, while being crappy pay and crappy work? It's in a good office, with great people and it's a stepping stone to where I want my life to go. I just have to stick it out until the right time and I've been promised the job of my dreams. It's coming; I just need to be patient. Some people spend ten years working their guts out to climb the ladder, where I just have to sit around being bored out of my skull until the job I'm aiming for comes up. So this fucking town, as much as I hate it? This is where I'll cut my teeth and learn by doing and then I'll get to move away a better and wiser person than I arrived being. On another note? My cold feet? They're now nice and warm and toasty. I think when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you just know, deep down you're so sure. But that doesn't mean it isn't hard, because it is. And it doesn't mean there isn't work, because my god there is. But I'm no peach, I'm stubborn, bitchy and sometimes totally irrational just because. I’m totally neurotic, paranoid and psycho on at least a daily basis. I’m not easy to live with, but we just work. I think when you’re in a relationship and you decide you want to stay in that same relationship forever, you go through a period of almost romanticizing being single, well I know I did. I thought about the ‘ones that got away’ and the things I might be missing out on. I worried that my guy wasn’t the guy I wanted to kiss forever. But I suddenly remembered what a shallow, hurtful, disappointing and fucked up world being single was for me. It was fun at times, but mostly it was lonely. I remember just wanting someone to understand me, to look past what was skin deep and fall in love with my heart and soul. Someone who made me want to write heartwarming love stories. Someone who wanted to travel the world with me and have adventures. Someone who likes it when I don’t do my hair and don’t wear makeup. Someone who understands I need ‘me’ time and that I’m a big dorky nerd at heart and not only accepts it, but enjoys it. Well I have that and I know that makes me lucky beyond belief. The thing I'd forgotten, that I learned so long ago, is that no one is ever going to be exactly who you want them to be. People that you want to care about you can be selfish and self centered, hypocritical and naive. People come and go and they hurt you so badly and never even notice. I forgot this and I forgot I'm lucky, I have a partner who would do anything and go anywhere to make me happy. I have friends who I made my family a long time ago. Then a real family who while aren't perfect, always did their best. I have remembered how shallow the world is and I think I prefer mine. It took a good mental shake for me to realize: Everything I need, I already have and everything I want will come to me when I’m ready to receive it. |
| Wednesday, December 8th, 2010 | |
| 10:43 pm | I'm engageeeddddd. |
| Tuesday, November 16th, 2010 | |
| 7:20 pm | Testing... Testing, 1, 2, 3... Well hello there! How my life has changed in the OVER A YEAR since I last ijed in 10 short points: 1: Fell in love. 2: Moved out of home, in with said love. 3: Moved 4.5 hours away from home. 4: Got a job, lost a job, got a horrible job, quit the horrible job, was unemployed and in a spiraling pit of depression, got a wonderful new job. 5: Moved again. 6: Quit smoking. 7: Took it up again. 8: Got a pup, her name's Maggie, she's presh. 9: Turned 21. 10: Grew up. So I'm same, same but different and forever trying to find a balance of work and play and online and offline and friends and boyfriend and love and reading and quiet time and talking time and waking time and sleeping time. I think I'm getting there. |